From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...

Oh! More Things I Know:

>> If a member of Congress makes a serious accusation against the White House---as Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) did when she accused the Obama administration of planning to brainwash America's kids in "re-education camps"---and the traditional media doesn't report on it, it means a) it's not worth their time to inform citizens of the potential danger to American families, or b) there's no doubt in their mind that the accuser has been sniffing glue.

>> Based on the performance of the drivers I've been watching from the window of this coffee shop, we definitely do need to establish re-education camps for parallel parkers.

>> I say we should get our socialist government out of the money business by abolishing dollars and leaving it up to the individual citizen to create his or her own currency. Mine will be called "Billy Bucks" and one of them will buy a yacht.

>> It seems odd that members of the Republican netroots, who act like they're the badassest badasses on the planet, would get so excited about organizing little tea parties. (Pinkies up, girls!) When I stage my tax revolt against the government it's gonna be a fuckin' whiskey rebellion!

>> How talented are the fringe gun-loving neo-Nazi American militia "revolutionaries?" On the one hand they claim "Obama = Hitler." On the other hand, they salute Hitler. Somehow they manage to hold both positions at once. That's talent.

>> I don’t have opposable thumbs. They agree on everything.

>> Since President Obama was sworn in, the press is working a little harder on correctly pronouncing the names of countries and world leaders. Fair warning: you want to be wearing a poncho when Chris Matthews tries to roll an R.

>> NBC correspondent Richard Engle is not only the cutest journalist working today, he's also the proud new owner of a prestigious Peabody Award. The cast of Saturday Night Live also won a Peabody for their Sarah Palin sketches. Bill O'Reilly boasted on several occasions that he has "Peabody Awards." He doesn’t. But he does have his own pea brain which, like many Peabody winners, he keeps on his mantle above the fireplace.

>> America has a strange obsession with inventing products that "get at those hard-to-reach places." It's weird because America is the slob capital of the universe.

>> Given that the combined efforts of groups like the Family Research Council, Focus on the Family and Concerned Women for America haven't made even the tiniest dent in the U.S. divorce rate, they're not in a position to claim expertise on marriage of any kind.

>> And one thing I don't know: How does Rush Limbaugh breathe when he sits down?

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