From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...

The Not-Too-Distant Future: 7am

 [Ring!!!]
 "Helloooo!"
 "Hello? Is this the new government-funded Spiritual Care office?"
 "Why, yeeeesss!"
 "Oh, good. I, uh...I need some help."
 "What's yer name, darlin'?"
 "My name? Tim...er, um...Zim! Zim Zeithner!"
 "What an unusual name. Is it German?"
 "Uh...sure. German. Right. Whatever."
 "And what kind of 'spiritual care' can I give ya, Hon'?"
 "I need you to pray for the economy, Ma'am. It's in the shitter...sorry, I mean it's not doing well and I think I'm about to get fired by the president...er...of my company."
 "Well, you've come to the right place, Mr. Zeithner. Now, what exactly about the economy would you like me to pray for?"
 "All of it! The whole thing! Now! Please!"
 "Okee doke. Let's see: you'll want a prayer for interest rates, another for inflation. Prayers for oil prices, new home sales, holiday sales, exports, imports, commodities futures, employment..."
 "Make it two prayers for employment. No, wait...TEN!
 "My goodness, Mr. Zeithner, you're serious---ten employment prayers it is. Then I'll do a lump prayer for the Dow, the NASDAQ and the S&P 500. And we'll also need prayers for energy projects, transportation projects, education projects, tax revenue, healthcare reform, consumer spending, consumer saving, small businesses, big businesses, borrowing, lending, GDP, productivity, organized labor, international trade, outstanding debt..."
 "Wall Street bonuses! Do one for Wall Street bonuses!"
 "Okay, that should about cover it. My, that's a long list! And as a free bonus, you can have a complimentary prayer for tighter regulation of the financial markets."
 "Ummm...Nah. Skip that part."
 "Okay, then. Lemme just add these up..."

 [Clickety clicky clacky clackety click click...  Zzzzzip!]

 "That comes out to forty billion dollars and 62 cents, Hon'. But we'll just send the bill to the Treasury Department. Between you, me and the fencepost, whoever's in charge over there should be fired. What a horse's p'tootie. Is he even awake?"
 "Uh...I gotta go. Thanks bye!"
 [Click]
 "Well, what a nice man, that Mr. Zeithner. Sounds like he needs a vacation, though. Poor dear."

Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]